I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it...

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now .

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Double your drive space - delete Windows!

What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?

Assassins do it from behind.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.

I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.

Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.