Private Function getProgrammerExcuse() As String

Private Function getProgrammerExcuse() As String

Dim myExcuses(1 to 21) As String

myExcuses(1) =  "That's Weird...",
myExcuses(2) =  "It's never done that before.",
myExcuses(3) =  "It worked yesterday.",
myExcuses(4) =  "How is that possible?",
myExcuses(5) =  "It must have a hardware problem.",
myExcuses(6) =  "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash." ,
myExcuses(7) =  "There is something funky in your data",
myExcuses(8) =  "I haven't touched that module in weeks!" ,
myExcuses(9) =  "You must have wrong version.",
myExcuses(10) =  "It's just some unlucky coincidence." ,
myExcuses(11) =  "I can't test everything!",
myExcuses(12) =  "THIS can't be the source of THAT." ,
myExcuses(13) =  "It works, but it's not been tested." ,
myExcuses(14) =  "Somebody must have changed my code.",
myExcuses(15) =  "Did you check for a virus on your system?",
myExcuses(16) =  "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel? ,
myExcuses(17) =  "You can't use that version on your system.",
myExcuses(18) =  "Why do you want to do it that way?",
myExcuses(19) =  "Where were you when the program blew up?",
myExcuses(20) =  "I thought I fixed that.",
myExcuses(21) =  "This is not a bug,it's undocumented feature."

Dim randomChoice As New Random(UBound(myExcuses))
Dim iRandomChoice As Integer = randomChoice.Next()

Return myExcuses(iRandomChoice)

End Function


(NOTE: How apt that it's written in VB :-)

From a programming change log:

After careful review, I have determined that it works better if TRUE has a distinct value from FALSE

The Minus Y2K Bug

This is pretty whacky:

http://www.jefflindsay.com/my2k.shtml

You Know your a Beta Tester When

1. While setting idle for a minute you spin a CD on one finger.

2. Your hint that dinner is over is when you brush any stray crumbs from the keyboard.

3. Your wife comes into the room to kiss you good night and you say "Wha...Who are you !"

4. At the end of a beta you proudly announce to everyone you see that "It went RTM !..RTM I tell ya..." and pass out cigars.

5. You try to dial the phone to call your house from work but the only number you can remember is the CD key.

6. Your answer to most questions from people is "Maybe a driver problem...".

7. You called in sick to work, and the next day when your back at work and someone asks what was wrong with you...... you say "Had a corrupt file...".

8. Your drinking coffee straight from the pot setting 2 feet from your monitor.

9. Your child in school at show and tell demonstrates the proper install sequence for Windows.

10. You have so many computers networked in your home that the neighbors complain to NOAA that the sun never set last night.

11. Your left mouse button actually has a finger groove worn into it.

12. Your favorite slogan becomes "Awwww ... Gheesh!... (or other choice words)

13. Some one asks "Hows it going..." and you reply "Works fine in Win XP... why not in this one!"

A programming language is low level when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.

Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.